Child Custody Attorney
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Brad H. Ferguson

Attorney at Law
Criminal Defense | Family Law | Personal Injury Lawyer

Five Common Mistakes During Child Custody

Going through a divorce is a challenging process for people. The situation becomes even more complicated when there are children involved. Children become emotionally traumatized witnessing their parents split. Below are common mistakes that parents make during child custody situations.

Using Social Media to Vent About Your Spouse

Social media platforms have many uses and are not a bad thing. However, when you are emotionally charged from going through a divorce, you may be tempted to post things that can harm your child custody case.

When you are hurt or angry, you may feel you need to vent. The temptation to post long-winded rants about your spouse to your friends and family may be seen by your spouse. For example, suppose a woman takes to social media to complain about her situation using curse words or other derogatory phrases. In that case, that post can be given to an attorney and used in court.

A highly negative post about your spouse can be used as evidence that the poster is emotionally unstable. Until your divorce and custody cases are settled, it is best to stay away from social media as much as possible.

Refusing to Compromise Regarding Your Children

Although it may be hard to think clearly during these situations, divorce and child custody are not a game. Refusing to compromise with your spouse regarding your children will only lengthen the process and cost you more money. It can also lead to you appearing unyielding, emotionally unstable, and immature.


A judge can see through immature games, and it may lead them to rule more in your spouse’s favor. No matter your feelings toward your spouse, keep the resentment and anger out of the courtroom.

Beginning a New Dating Relationship

Your divorce does give you the right to begin the search for a new partner who may be better suited to you. However, you should consider how a new relationship will impact your child custody proceedings.

Children are confused and hurting during divorce, and they feel the brunt of what is going on around them the most.

Introducing a new dating partner can make your child feel uneasy and make them want to live with your spouse and not you. The courts may find that your child’s best interest is to be placed with your spouse instead of in a home with a new partner.


It can also lead your spouse to be more confrontational during custody matters which can exacerbate the proceedings.

Not Being There for Your Children

If you want your children, they need to be your focus. Having the best interests of your children means that you need to be a fit and responsible parent.

Blowing off your responsibilities or rescheduling time with your children can negatively impact your case’s view in court.

Divorce is starting a new chapter in your life but keep in mind that your children need you more now than they ever have before.

Using Your Kids as Pawns

When your child custody case comes to court, the judge presiding over your lawsuit will be looking for what is in your child’s best interest.

Your judge will be able to see if you and your spouse are using your kids in a tug-of-war. No matter how clever you may think you are, the courts witness this type of behavior every day.

Kids are the innocent bystanders that watch the breakdown of your family from the inside out. Your children are not go-betweens, messengers between adults, or bargaining chips.

As a parent, it is your charge to provide them with love and care. Using your kids as pawns during divorce will have long-lasting implications on your relationship with your own children. It can also negatively affect their mental health.

As you navigate your way through child custody, make sure that you are doing what is best for them.

This is a trying time for all involved, and if you feel you need help, reach out to an experienced family law attorney. Brad Ferguson is a child custody lawyer based in Waynesville, NC, who has many years of experience dealing with these difficult situations. He can help you negotiate child custody, negotiate with your spouse, and even represent you in court. You can contact him at (828) 452-1655 or fill out the form on his website here.

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Legal Disclaimer: The information provided on this site does not constitute a lawyer-client relationship and is for general informational purposes only. Attorney Brad H. Ferguson has not been involved in any cases mentioned on this blog. Content provided does not constitute legal advice and may not represent the most up-to-date information. No reader of this site should act or refrain according to the information given without first seeking legal counsel in their jurisdiction. If you have a pressing legal matter that needs attention, please contact our office via phone to schedule a consultation at 828-452-1655.